13-Year-Old Girls Really Do Start Tuning Out Their Moms, Study Finds

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A mom and daughter
Unsplash | leah hetteberg

A new study has confirmed something that parents knew all along: once kids become teenagers, they start tuning out their moms.

No, really.

If you think trying to talk to your teenager is like talking to a brick wall, you're not alone — and it turns out, there's a reason for it, too. A study out of the Stanford School of Medicine arrived at this conclusion after analyzing the brain activity of teenagers.

When kids hit a certain age, their listening habits change as well.

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It should be noted that this isn't a conscious thing. Around the age of 13, the brain stops identifying their mom's voice as unique and rewarding.

"As a teen, you don’t know you’re doing this. You’re just being you: You’ve got your friends and new companions and you want to spend time with them. Your mind is increasingly sensitive to and attracted to these unfamiliar voices," explained lead study author Daniel Abrams.

It isn't that kids stop listening — it's that they start tuning into other voices more.

It all has to do with the reward circuits.

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During childhood, the brain sees a mother's voice as rewarding. But in teenage brains, there's a shift where new voices are also seen as rewarding. Researchers note that this is a healthy aspect of development.

The path to independence begins around that age.

A group of teenagers with arms raised
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"A child becomes independent at some point, and that has to be precipitated by an underlying biological signal," explained Dr. Vinod Menon, the senior author of the study. "That's what we've uncovered: this is a signal that helps teens engage with the world."

What's the difference?

mom with kids in the kitchen
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In kids 12 and under, the sound of their mom's voice activates reward centers and emotion-processing regions. After this age, their mom's voice is still recognizable, but it doesn't occupy the unique spot in the brain that it once did.

It's a sign of how important moms are to growing kids.

A mom and her kid
Unsplash | Xavier Mouton Photographie

While it might seem sad that kids grow out of the earlier phase, that earlier phase truly is special.

"The mother's voice is the sound source that teaches young kids all about the social-emotional world and language development," said Dr. Percy Mistry, co-lead author of the study.

The implications are exciting.

Human brain model
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For parents of kids on the autism spectrum, this data will likely lead to more findings about how a child's brain processes stimuli. It's already been found that the brain response in kids with autism isn't as strong when they hear their mom's voice.

It's just a part of growing up.

Group of teenagers
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As kids grow older, they become more independent. A big part of that is in their social interactions.

"When teens appear to be rebelling by not listening to their parents, it is because they are wired to pay more attention to voices outside their home," said Menon.

What do you think?

A mom and daughter
Unsplash | leah hetteberg

Parents, do these findings line up with your experience? Be sure to check out the full study and let us know what you think in the comments. And just for fun, shout out your kid's name to see what their response is.