Quicksand warning sign
Unsplash | Jeremy Bezanger

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They Believed In As Kids

If you ever find yourself doubting your abilities, stop yourself right there. You've come a long way. We all have. After all, we were all kids at one time. And when you think about it, kids tend to believe in all kinds of weird-ass things (bless their naive little hearts).

The r/AskReddit thread, "What's the funniest thing you believed in when a child?," offers up a hilarious glimpse into the bizarre mind of a child.

It's Steven Tyler, so you never know.

Steven Tyler of Aerosmith
Wikimedia Commons | Gage Skidmore

"Once, my mum joked that I had similar mannerisms to Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and that I could pass for his daughter. After that, I kept telling everyone Steven was my real father. I was 12 years old and was obsessed with him. I'm 25 now, still belt it out to Aerosmith and still adore Steven Tyler. But I'm 99.9% sure he's not my dad."

-u/JubilantJayde

Some feet fall asleep, others leave entirely.

Anatomical model of a foot
Unsplash | Nino Liverani

"That when you slept your foot would disconnect and would reattach later, I always woke up with a foot that felt like radio static but that caused me to figure out I was sleeping wrong."

-u/Bonkbunk-

An explosive drive to save power.

"Tick tick boom time bomb" gif
Giphy |

"Well, my mom would always freak out whenever we were leaving the house and the television was still on. Based on her reaction to how important it was to turn it off before we left, I thought that it would literally explode if we left it unattended."

-u/otherm0ther

I literally went through the exact same thing.

Man taking sobriety test gif
Giphy |

"I thought the signs that said 'Don't Drink and Drive' meant any beverage, and I would get mad at my parents for breaking the law if they had water or something in the front seat."

-u/RawBean7

A lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Hello Kitty statues
Unsplash | Jiaqi Zhang

"My aunt bought me a Hello Kitty plush doll and it had a little fabric lollipop sewed onto the hand. She told me if I tried to take it out of her hands, she'd cry.

I believed it, and when something would get caught on the lollipop and tug on it a bit I'd get so nervous I'd call for my mom to help Hello Kitty because I was too scared that I'd mess it up lol."

-u/slainmedic

Kiss this part, it's Irish.

An Irish flag
Unsplash | Alejandro Luengo

"I thought actual parts of you were different ethnicities. So when someone said 'Oh, I'm part Italian,'" I would ask what part. I would tell people I was part Irish and point to my nose, elbows, and if I was wearing sandals — my toe.

Thanks, dad."

-u/kaleidoscopesloth

Sometimes you deserve all the mockery.

Penguins manouvering their egg gif
Giphy | BBC America

"I read that penguins carry their eggs on their feet, so that must mean they stand on their heads, holding their eggs aloft in the air, cradled by their little webbed feet. This image was seared into my brain. Years later, when I was 12, I shared this 'fun fact' about penguins with my family. They made fun of me for years and years... 'Hey Pearlie, did you know penguins can stand on their heads?!'"

-u/pearlie_girl

Driving is mysterious until you actually do it.

Turn signal on the back of a car
Unsplash | Krzysztof Hepner

"I mistakenly believed that turn signals in cars turned on automatically and that the vehicle somehow understood the direction you were turning. From my position in the backseat, I was unable to watch my mum turn it on."

-u/Less_Reflection_7601

That isn't how it works?

Wedding kiss gif
Giphy | Hallmark Channel

"I thought that when you kissed on your wedding day, it activated some sort of biological response in the woman to start having a genetically pre-determined amount of kids, since I had no idea what sex was. My mind was blown when I learned that there were unmarried people who had kids.. I was so confused."

-u/Ok_Ad-2605

When you're crazy for vitamins.

A sliced orange on a table
Unsplash | Mae Mu

"My mom told me that the pithy white part of the orange peel left behind was where all the vitamins were. Since I associated vitamins with those Flintstones candy flavored kids vitamin pills, it worked and I ate the pith."

-u/ginny11

Put another tater on the barbie.

"Nine hundred dollari-doos?" Simpsons gif
Giphy |

"[I thought] that red potatoes were special Australian potatoes. I guess we kids didn't want to eat red-skinned potatoes, so my mom told us they were from Australia. It worked because it was the '90s and The Crocodile Hunter was our favorite. Fast-forward to 15-year-old me yelling across the produce department to ask my mom if we needed Australian potatoes. The look on her face."

-u/inordinate_fondness

Weirdly specific warnings.

Woman wearing plaid shirt and jeans
Unsplash | Robert Penaloza

"My mother always told me if I played with my belly button too much my butt would fall off. Still too scared to see if she’s right or not."

-u/bdrew09

"My mom told me if I played with mine it would open up and my intestines would all unravel out."

-u/MiaLba

Just sister things.

Dense ferns in a jungle setting
Unsplash | Chris Abney

"My sister told me I was adopted from a jungle in China (from monkeys). I sobbed/cried about this for a couple of years until my mom corrected the situation.

I talked about this in my maid of honor speech for her wedding lol."

-u/Ok_Repeat1990

He's a great kid, though.

"She's a really good kid" gif
Giphy | Gilmore Girls

"I totally told a story at my brother's wedding (best man) about making him believe acid rain would melt your skin and body and it was about to rain that acid rain (you could smell it) so he ran inside scared for his life lmao.

He’s a great younger brother, we had a lot of fun times growing up."

-u/mr_remy

When you accept your fate.

Pocket knife stuck in a log
Unsplash | Thanh Tran

"When I was like seven I was fully convinced that I was going to be stabbed to death in my sleep, like I thought it was just a matter of time. I don't know why because I had no reason whatsoever to think that."

-u/onegaylactaidpill

You just need to psyche them out enough.

"This is it. Don't get scared now." gif from Home Alone
Giphy |

"When I was younger, I thought that if someone broke into my home to kidnap me, I could claim to have a mental illness so that the kidnapper would be too disoriented to take me."

-u/Upstairs_Toe_1402

The harshest lesson of all.

Hand punching buttons on an ATM
Unsplash | Eduardo Soares

"I thought money was super easy to get and when my mom said she didn't have money I thought she was being mean to me, 'cause how can an adult have no money? Now I know."

-u/NeonScar

Playing language roulette.

Beauty and the Beast dancing gif
Giphy | Disney

"In Spanish class we'd watch Disney movies in Spanish. So I couldn't wait until we saw Beauty and the Beast because there's a whole section of the movie in French and I just assumed the Spanish version would have that part in English. It was still in French."

-u/rydan

I want to believe.

A gif of a green chupacabra
Giphy |

"I didn't believe in Santa Claus the whole thing never made sense to me, but I was convinced the Chupacabra was real after seeing a TV special about it."

-u/hmmhmmgood

"I was well into my 20s and convinced mermaids were real after watching that Discovery Channel special on them."

-u/jellyschoomarm

If you say you weren't afraid of quicksand, you're lying.

Quicksand warning sign
Unsplash | Jeremy Bezanger

"My brother convinced me there was quicksand up in the hill behind our house with a giant snake living nearby. Told me I’d get stuck in the quicksand and eaten by the snake. Believed it for years. Quicksand in general is something most kids are scared of I think."

-u/UshikawaT