I might have mentioned to you once or twice that I'm planning my wedding. And guess what? It's only about a month away! Ahhh! You can only imagine how stressed out I am, ha, ha.
Therefore, I'm always looking for advice from former brides about what to do and not to do before I rip all my hair out. So I thought it would be awesome to share a few of their helpful tips with all of you. Check this out.
"Keep your cards close. The second you start letting people in on your ideas, everyone will have a million and one ways you can do it better. You'll start second-guessing what you really wanted to begin with. Before you know it, your event will be nothing like what you envisioned."
That's right. I'm making everything a surprise.
"Decide what your priorities are, and spend on those. For us, we wanted good food and drinks, good photos, and to be surrounded by people we love. I bought an inexpensive dress (I’m only wearing it once, and it just has to look good in photos!), but my husband spent more on his suit because he’d get a lot of re-wear out of it."
I'm in total agreement here, although I did splurge on my dress, hee-hee.
"If you don't want people to give you useless advice, keep your mouth shut about the plans. If there are folks who need to be kept busy, there are any number of decorating activities that can be assigned to make your day look fun, while keeping those folks from getting into things that are none of their business."
Ha, ha!
"The only thing that matters is the food and booze. No one cares what color of flowers or how much you spent on your dress. Feel pretty and have fun."
Oh, yeah! I'm basically focusing on the food and the atmosphere at our wedding. I think that's what people remember the most.
"I had two weddings because of COVID. We did one small, fully DIY one outside, and a larger one a year later at our original venue with a caterer and the whole shebang. Having had both types of weddings: A DIY wedding is much easier to achieve if you have local family/friends who want to help, if not, it's a lot of work for you and your spouse. For our bigger wedding, being able to pay one catering company to do 85% of the work for us was amazing. But regardless, both are amazing, and you will have a great day no matter what you choose!"
I actually wanted a DIY wedding, but I couldn't handle it. So if you're very hands-on, go for it, otherwise, let the venue take care of it.
"That if you’re more excited about the wedding than the marriage itself, you may want to take a step back and ask yourself why. I learned that one the hard way."
Oh, no! That doesn't sound good to me.
"If you can, take off for the honeymoon right after the wedding! It was the freaking best and a great way to destress from the wedding."
Oh, yes! We are doing just that — taking off for our mini-moon two days after the wedding.
"I learned that every Bridezilla moment has a story behind it, and I've generally gotten a lot less judgmental about them. My new game is to take any Bridezilla meme or story and add 'Not after last time' to the end of it and see if it gets a lot more understandable in that context. About 70% of the time, it works. 'Absolutely no one can wear T-shirts with any kind of writing on them to my wedding. Not after last time,' 'I will not allow any children under 18 to attend the reception. No exceptions, not after last time,' 'Cameras are not allowed at the wedding, and no one other than the designated photographer can take pictures. Not after last time.' Bridezilla is a term that a lot of people have repurposed to try to shut up women who stand up for themselves. There are real Bridezillas, of course, but it's not an accident that the term has no real male equivalent."
Planning a wedding is hard so brides need to get a break, somehow.
"Quick tip: Don’t just get people to sign a guest book with their name. Pre-print pages with questions. Where do you know the couple from? What’s your advice for the future? What’s your dearest memory of the couple? It will be so much fun to read down the road! The pages can go in a nice ring binder afterward. You could even make the guests stick in Polaroids of themselves."
Oh, I haven't thought of that. What a great idea, huh?
"Go bold, but go small. Our wedding ballooned, and now I honestly am wishing we just invited our close friends and family and that's it. But having a destination wedding may be our saving grace since we expect more 'Nos' than a local wedding due to distance."
Yikes!
"Don’t pick your bridesmaids too early. You never know if you will have a falling out. I was about to ask one girl to be my bridesmaid, and my mom warned me to wait. THANK GOD I waited because she and I ended up having a HUGE falling out before my wedding."
I'm actually happy I don't have bridesmaids but only the Maid of Honor! It takes a load off not to have to come up with the other people in the bridal party.
"My number one no-regret choice was getting a videographer! The video is so beautiful and captured all the best bits, so whenever I watch it, my memories are only of joy and happiness because that is what the video shows. It’s been so therapeutic to watch it over when I’ve been struggling to see past my more negative emotions from the day. So I highly recommend it."
Aww, I can't wait to get to see our video.
"Plan the event backward. Your guests spend more time at the reception than at the church, so put the most money there: Good food and drink, music, cake/dessert. Your guests will remember this more, and so will you. Something will always go wrong. Always! Roll with it."
That makes total sense to me.
"Someone had told me to be sure to stop a few times throughout the wedding day, take a deep breath, look around, and take it all in, creating my own snapshots of the day in my head, trying to remember what it felt like to be there, surrounded by loved ones. Although I'm divorced now, and that was way back in 1999, I've still got very vivid memories from having followed that advice."
I need to remember to do that. I think it's so important.
"If you can afford a full-service wedding planner, do it. It was the best decision we made at the beginning of planning. She and her staff knew the ins and outs of dealing with venues and vendors and how to negotiate with them. Plus, they shouldered a lot of the day-to-day planning and prep and saved my husband and me so much leg work and stress. It saved us money, too. At the least, get yourself a day-of coordinator so you can relax and enjoy your day. It goes by so quickly."
I'm so grateful for my planner and day-of coordinator. She's truly a lifesaver.
"It's okay to not do it like everyone else. Don't want a big, fancy wedding? That's ok! Don't want to invite everyone you know? That's ok, too. Don't want to spend a fortune on one day in your life? That's totally acceptable. In the end, your wedding should be how you want it, not how the rest of the world does. I got married my way, a small thing with barely anyone there. My family wanted a huge event, but I refused. My sister, on the other hand, spent over $50K on her wedding, which is insane to me. That's a down payment on a house."
Amen!
"Don't let others pressure you. Make it small, and do bold style choices for your own enjoyment. Don't care about what folks might gossip about. It's your day. Planning a wedding for 12 people is a lot more fun and personal than doing a massive and expensive celebration."
That's why we're sticking to a small affair with only the people we really care about and who care about us.
"Don’t get your dress too early, and don’t book hair and makeup too early. Really take time to figure out what you want to look like on your wedding day. Do a makeup and hair trial. Don’t try to look like somebody you’re not. I’m not a very girly girl. I don’t ever wear makeup. I don’t like having my hair done. Yet, on my wedding day, I wore a super girly dress, had full makeup and lashes, and an updo. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and wanting to cry. I felt so ugly and nothing like myself. I can’t even look at my wedding photos without feeling upset. I wish I just straightened my hair, wore no makeup, and wore the dress I had originally picked (a $350 regular cream-colored dress/not a wedding dress). Absolute biggest regret."
Aww! Thank goodness I picked a wonderful makeup and hair stylist to make me look like me but better, hehe.
We're already doing most of these, but it's nice to get a few other ideas put in perspective. I'm definitely focusing on what's important to us — the food, the atmosphere, and capturing our beautiful moments. I think the rest will fall into place. What do you think of these tips here?
