A woman with a neutral expression
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Women Share The Things They Steadfastly Refuse To Apologize For

Do we live in a world of equality? Well, we've made some strides over the years, but generally speaking, the answer is no. For women, it can be tough to navigate around the many examples of sexism, not to mention double standards, that they'll encounter in life.

Many women feel conditioned to apologize for every little thing, even if it's not their fault. But this r/AskWomen thread delved into the things that women are absolutely not going to apologize for, ever.

Sounds like good parenting.

Girl riding a bike
Unsplash | 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič

"Raising my daughter to trust herself and hold her boundaries. She’s a teenager now, and I’ve been told regularly for years that she is 'prickly' by family. I think that is mostly cultural pushback against the expectation that women be constantly smiling and accommodating."

-u/Key_Bus4500

Chronic illnesses are awful.

Woman lying in bed with pillow over her head
Unsplash | Isabella and Zsa Fischer

"When my chronic illness flares, everything stops and I don't leave the house period. No it's just around the corner or it'll only take 5 minutes. Can't help you. I take care of me and trying to survive and I won't apologize or feel bad for it ever again."

-u/LeighofMar

Shots fired.

Various lingerie
Unsplash | Fahad Waseem

"Not wearing a bra and letting my nipples show through my tops.

My boobs want to be free! What’s with the over-sexualisation of female nipples when at least ours have a purpose.. what can male nipples do? Nada. Yet it’s fine for us to see those useless things; male nipples and the males themselves. Btw please don’t take me too serious guys I just enjoy poking bit of fun at the mens"

-u/Scorpiobbyy

Of course it's a valid hobby.

Hands holding controllers while playing video games
Unsplash | JESHOOTS.COM

"Playing video games. It sounds trivial but I’m child free with my husband and our friends with kids have been snarky to us as of late about it. We both work full time jobs and are paid pretty reasonably well so we see it as a valid hobby but our friends act like we are children. And video games are important to us because it’s how we met and ended up in a relationship."

-u/hyperlight85

Just doing your job.

Open sign in store window
Unsplash | Mike Petrucci

"Doing my job. I work in a small shop and work alone for eight hours every shift. Everything is my job from waiting on customers to vacuuming to stocking what needs stocked. If you are not waiting on me to get up/get off my phone, please don't complain that I'm not hurrying to wait on you. Everything is my job. I am simply doing my job."

-u/HippySwizzy

It's a normal thing and doesn't need to be apologized for.

A row of tampons
Unsplash | Natracare

"Flooding.

I have endo, my period comes irregularly and makes a grand entrance.

If I bleed through my pants, it’s not gross, I’m not disgusting, it happens semi regularly. It’s my normal."

-u/TennisBallsArePurple

Refuse to tone switch.

Two women talking
Unsplash | Cherrydeck

"For the way I speak.

Yes I am from 'somewhere different to you'. Yes, I've had a hard time. Yes I sound rough.

But no, I won't change who I am to make myself sound more middle class and acceptable in snobby society. I'm proud of my roots and the way I speak indicates how much work I've had to do to get to where I am today. A lot more than you did.

So there."

-u/CongealedBeanKingdom

Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Woman holding a hand in front of her face
Unsplash | Beth Hope

"Blocking people. I don't know why strangers get so butt hurt when you post about blocking someone."

-u/georgiagirlinthepnw

"I used to be this way. I would get sooo angry whenever someone mentioned blocking someone (no matter the reason)….then I started to do it and realized how much peace it brings me,I wish I would’ve learned sooner"

-u/souredsunshine

This seems like the bare minimum for treating a person decently.

Group of women seated at tables
Unsplash | LinkedIn Sales Solutions

"My boundaries. I’ve had people try to treat me like a crazy person for trying to enforce normal, healthy boundaries. I won’t ever apologize for demanding to be treated with decency."

-u/Andy06041

No one should have to apologize for this.

Woman wearing glasses
Unsplash | Carlos Vaz

"My physical limitations

Yes I’m visual impaired no I will not apologize for leaning so close to your computer screen I can touch it with my nose becuase you are the one who asked me to come over and show you how to do it.

No I’m no going to apologize for asking for a menu when I cannot read the backboard menu behind the counter."

-u/Nancy2421

Self care is so important.

Woman sitting on the floor, drinking tea and reading
Unsplash | Toa Heftiba

"If I don’t take care of myself, no one else will.

Other people aren’t entitled to my time or energy.

Other people's feelings aren’t my responsibility. If they’re upset that I said no, it’s their problem, not mine.

Saying no actually helps my relationships. It prevents me from resenting the other person, which damages the relationship. Also, the people who get mad at you for saying no are usually just using you for something. People who really care about you don’t mind if you say no. I use boundaries as a way to weed out selfish people from my life."

-u/Arya_kidding_me

You need to put yourself first.

A smiling woman sitting on a couch
Unsplash | Jonathan Borba

"Choosing me.

I used to put everyone first and my needs last and I’ll never do that again. If it doesn’t work for me, I’m out. I really think a lot of my stuff came from anxiety. Once I got that treated it became a lot easier to create boundaries and learn to say no."

-u/GrandSaltQueen

Women aren't always given the space to be assertive.

Gesturing hands at a meeting
Unsplash | Headway

"Speaking my mind. No, not in the [a-hole] 'I’m so blunt, I’m just keeping it real' kinda way. But the way that is respectful yet gets the point across."

-u/NostalgicAmbrosia13

"So being assertive."

-u/Commercial_Author_13

Hard to blame someone for leaving a cult.

A praying woman
Unsplash | Ben White

"Running away from home and from the Jehovah Witness cult and finally be able to love my life."

-u/DarkSilver09

"My fiance was a JW too, it's a horrible cult- congrats on getting out!"

-u/thesomethingfox

"I’m a former JW! Glad you got out!"

-u/Big-Repeat4032

Certain things need to come before other things.

A mom playing with a toddler
Unsplash | Thiago Cerqueira

"Putting my child ahead of my job."

-u/ph8drus

"Family comes first. You can always find something new to do, you can’t find a new family."

-u/gobskin

"Love this. I couldn’t agree more. You’re a brilliant human!"

-u/Ytho8761265

Don't ever settle.

Man smiling at woman while sitting on ledge
Unsplash | Brooke Cagle

"My standards for men."

-u/kitohdzz

"Good for you!

For years my Mother told me my standards were too high and I just needed to pick someone and settle already. I didn't listen to her. I married my INCREDIBLE husband at 34 years old, I'm 38 now with 2 kids and we're planning a third.

Never settle for less than exactly what you need to be happy."

-u/dreamweaver1998

Slow and steady.

Pile of alarm clocks
Unsplash | Jon Tyson

"Taking my time.

I hated being urged to be faster, to work faster, to walk faster, to bath faster. I'm not sorry for doing it on my own pace."

-u/tamtambok

"I can appreciate this, but in some situations people taking their time is wasting other people's time."

-u/Wazutiman

There's usually a good reason.

A woman holding a phone
Unsplash | Jenny Ueberberg

"Hating my dad."

-u/aletter2u

"Exactly thank you. No I don’t have to forgive him to live in peace and with a clean conscience. I really am healing without needing to forgive that mess."

-u/postcardmap45

"Agree. People are always like 'you'll regret it one day' - including my father."

-u/Worth-Row6805

It's a valid choice.

Contemplative woman sitting on steps
Unsplash | Anthony Tran

"Not wanting children."

-u/solojones1138

"This! Hate being looked at for being the bad guy for not wanting kids. Especially when others are being pushy about it with the 'oh you will want them later'.... like no tf I don't."

-u/MaziKweenJoanWick

It's important to establish.

A woman with a neutral expression
Unsplash | x )

"My boundaries. They’re put in place for good reason and they will stay that way."

-u/dz2400

"Me either! Especially getting older and getting in touch with that and knowing about boundaries and that it’s ok to have them. And just finding my own voice too."

-u/MarvelBishUSA42