15+ Tweets For Those Of Us Who Have Seen It All

In fairness, other people's breathing is incredibly annoying, like, if you could just not, that'd be great!

"Your Dad has gone back to work now kids, so you know what that means!"

"We're having oatmeal?"

"Correct!"

You're not a hero just because you got dressed you know! Now, go get in your sweats like everyone else and stop being a dick.

People should be writing epic poems for one another while in this state of isolation, not sending thirsty DMs and unsolicited nudes!

And you thought they knocked silently before quarantine! They'll be knocking even quieter now to try and avoid giving you your package.

Give it a week and then you won't even be bothered to change your pyjamas. We're headed for the end times here people.

Ah would you look at that, poor thing looks exhausted. What you need to do there is pop in some petrol and the car will flip in the air, it's tyres will swell big and small a few times, then it'll throw you a wink and disappear with a puff of smoke.

If anything, not being able to go out and make a tit of myself by getting too drunk has improved my social standing!

I think I'd be more likely to catch a life-threatening illness going behind my fridge than anywhere in the world right now, goodness knows when I last cleaned behind there.

It is kind of telling that I read through those and actually thought, "Damn, 'thank f**k' would actually be one hell of an epitaph!"

It's a miracle that you weren't rugby tackled by hazmat-ed security guards and thrown out of the shop!

Actually, now that I think about it, this whole situation is more like bring your work to pets day.

"No, no son, not all of us bought hundreds of toilet rolls."

"But lots did though right?"

*Sighing — "Yes, yes, the bloody well did."

For those of you who are wondering, Goofy is 6 feet tall. As for the mormon trampoline thing I'll leave that to you.

It's like that scene in American Beauty, except the people watching the bag are crying because they want a McDonalds.

Truly, those were special times, people partied freely in the streets and many alliances were formed. Those were the best of times.

Seriously pollen, this is not the time to get jealous! I'm already scared of displaying any signs of sickness as it is!

I don't think that we're at marauding warlords just yet. But, you know, each apocalypse to their own.

I guess we should have really seen this one coming, shouldn't we?

I am relishing the chance to be able to annoy the hell out of my cat, mainly just as payback for all the times she has annoyed me out of boredom.

It is amazing how quickly you can get lost when you're trying to teach a kid. I mean, where do you start? What information is important, and in what order do you teach it?

2020 is not playing around at this point. The new decade is looking to be an absolute doozy!

There should be a quarantining match system, where you put in how you're spending quarantine and it matches you with people to meet up with once this is all over.

You could make a list of things that you're not keen on about each other... that should really make the time fly.

How have you been spending your quarantine? Have you found out any new revelations about the people you live with since being trapped in with them? Let me know in the comments below if so!

My work mode is pretty much the same as my normal mode, miserable, sarcastic, and sighing a lot at other people. I only really have one gear if I'm honest.

Quarantine boredom has really hit some people a lot harder than others hasn't it?

It's good that this dad is giving his kids a discount from the extortionate prices that most school photographers charge.

How dare he. When one parent suffers the injustice of no naps, both parents should suffer!

I will also not be combing my hair anymore, it can become a bird's nest for all I care.