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Memes Only People Desperate To Lose Weight Will Understand

Amy Pilkington 3 Apr 2020

I don't know about you, but I started the year with goals that swiftly degraded to plans, then guidelines, and now they are just vague hopes and dreams for the future.

Yes, I'm still technically trying to eat better and exercise more, but also, donuts are both a blessing and a curse.

The fridge is also both my friend and my enemy right now.

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I cope by learning stupid trivia. Did you know that the reason "fridge" has a D in it but "refrigerator" doesn't is because English is a bastard language that grafts things like Latin, French, and Germanic rules onto a mess of borrowed vocabulary from dozens of other languages and then expects them all to play nicely?

Without the D, "frige" could be pronounced wrong in so many ways. So the collective hive mind decided a D was a necessary evil.

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And it's exactly that sort of rabbit hole of useless information that dooms me to snacking.

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I mean, it's not a Wikipedia wormhole without a bowl of Fritos on the desk next to me. That's the law.

Kale chips would be sacrilege. Without a D.

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Seriously, though...

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Whoever invented the donut may be the greatest villain of all time.

Just kidding. The combined efforts of Dutch settlers and ship captain Hansen Gregory are an incredible addition to modern cuisine.

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Who said you couldn't learn a few things while skimming a list of funny memes?

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I mean, I could give you some trivia about how carbs affect body weight or the history of gluten intolerance for this one, but really can we just appreciate the perfect teen comedy that is 10 Things I Hate About You?

I first saw Heath Ledger in a Xena-esque fantasy series called Roar and followed his career from there. So yes, I'm a Ledger hipster.

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Considering the current state of things, I may need to resort to drastic measures.

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Seriously, I cannot be trusted with anything remotely delicious within my field of vision. I may as well just replace everything in my pantry with rice cakes so that I'll eat them in favor of starvation.

Oh yeah, last trivia: the spring-loaded mousetrap was invented by William C. Hooker in 1894, but he's commonly forgotten in favor of James Henry Atkinson, who popularized it.

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