14+ Memes For People Who Think 'Juice Cleanse' Means Mimosas

I've already accepted the fact that last summer's jeans aren't going to see any action this summer and that's perfectly O.K. with me.

It's a vicious cycle. You eat less during the day so by the time dinner rolls around, you end up eating enough for four people. So then tomorrow you try to eat less and it's just like, oh God, here we go again.

You just focus on what you're going to do today. Don't bother reminiscing on all those calories you enjoyed. It's just not worth the energy.

And if I pin enough "healthy recipes" to that board I've never looked at, I can keep eating all these delicious desserts and I won't gain a pound!

Honestly, the hardest part about dieting is all the pinning. After that it's a breeeeze.

Catch me tomorrow adding a side of candied bacon to it. After all, I've always been told that starting the day with a nice, full breakfast is the key to any diet.

This. This is why you will always see me leaving the dessert table with two cupcakes in my hands. Now please stop giving me those judgey looks and respect my healthy, balanced lifestyle.

As soon as you start trying to cut carbs and sugar from your diet, you realize just how many foods you have to eliminate, and then you're pretty much left with water and maybe a stick of celery.

So let's do ourselves a favor and leave all those carbs and sugars where they belong — on our plates.

This has the same energy as doing a half-hour workout and realizing that when squats, planks, and crunches are involved, half an hour actually feels more like 5 hours.

You'll also be impressed to know I managed to eat my entire daily calorie goal in only one meal.

Man, dieting is easy.

At my gym, there are two elderly women who signed up for memberships just so they could come every day and use the massage chairs for an hour.

They're basically my heroes.

I happened to be pretty underweight when I was born, so I like to think that all my subsequent weight gain (including that freshman 15 that quickly turned into the freshman 35) was me just trying to make up for that fact.

And suffice it to say, I definitely succeeded.

This award was made possible by my favorite creamy salad dressing that's always been there for me and that's helped trick me into eating more greens because it tastes so darn good.

This one's for you, three cheese ranch!

Other forms of meal prepping I enjoy include finding some fries in the bottom of the takeout bag I left on the counter last night, and eating that container of spaghetti sauce I forgot was in the back of my fridge.

That counts, right?

I wanted to buy a double bacon cheese burger with a side of fries and a chocolate milkshake.

But instead I bought a single bacon cheese burger with a side of fries and a chocolate milkshake. It's the little changes that make the biggest difference.

It's all about the journey, not the destination. And sometimes the destination inexplicably gets just a little further and further away.

So, you know, plan your road trip accordingly.

There's nothing quite like doing that little scuttle of shame from the kitchen to your bedroom while trying to balance a buffet of snacks in your hands.

I like to shake up my workouts, too. Sometimes they're ketchup flavored, sometimes they're barbecue, and if I'm feeling a little spicy, sometimes they're jalapeño cheddar.

It's all about variety.

This is also how I feel when I look at pasta and mashed potatoes. In the end, my complicated feelings usually result in me eating everything anyway.

I also usually end up with three packs of chocolate chunk cookies when I was positive I was putting spinach in my cart.

Weird how that happens.

Sometimes I put my meals in and you'd think I just told the thing I ate an entire grocery store with the way it reacts.

"YOU WENT OVER YOUR DAILY ALLOTTED SUGAR."

Okay, you need to chill.