Grandma-To-Be 'Flips Out' After Daughter Bans Her From The Delivery Room

There are some who want to share the moment of their child's birth with friends and family. However, others want to keep the moment private with their partner.

In some cultures, only women can attend the birth. However, in North America, it's become common for the father to act as the primary birth coach or partner.

While it was common for family members to meet the new baby soon after the birth in the hospital, more and more couples are deciding to hold off a few days, or even weeks, before allowing visitors.

The mother said that she and her husband decided to take the first two weeks after the baby's born for themselves with their newborn. Her husband had taken paternity leave and the two wanted to stay at their apartment without visitors.

Apparently, grandma was rather angry.

"She flipped out. She said I was horrible, so selfish and entitled. I was taking away the moment she should have with HER granddaughter. She just wanted to see her be born and spend time with her and then she would leave!"

Her mother, apparently, did not agree with her plans for delivery. Although she had excellent doctors and a husband with medical experience — she still argued with her daughter on every step of her birthing plan.

"I explained that I did not feel comfortable with her there due to her consistently disagreeing with my doctor and my husband/my birth plan, and just wanting it to be a private moment anyway."

"She said she needed to be there in case of an emergency to 'help make important medical decisions' and it took everything for me not to laugh."

"She is the last person I would want to make medical decisions and I could just see her arguing with my very capable husband and doctor. Absolutely no way in hell."

"I told her that it wasn’t personal, I was not trying to hurt anyone, but we are firm with our decisions."

Her response was “if you and [husband] want to be alone, than fine, you’ll be alone! If I can’t come to the delivery than I’m not coming at all! You can’t delegate when people can come see the baby. It doesn’t work that way!”

"I don’t need the stress. I have had an extremely rough pregnancy and this stuff does not help at all. If all of this makes me a horrible, selfish person, [then] I guess that is exactly what I am. But I’m not budging."

One person wrote:

"I've read this in other posts: "birth is not a spectator sport. It's a major medical event that causes bodily trauma that REQUIRES recovery."

You aren't being selfish, you're setting your family's boundaries. I wish you a shiny spine, as well as an easy, uncomplicated delivery (for both of us, as I'm actually about at the same point myself!)."

"Good for you! My delivery was an epic crapfest, to the point that my mother swooped in and took my baby from the nurse and refused to give her to me until she was good and ready. Almost 30 years later that still makes me mad.

Your medical procedure, your nuclear family, your decision. It does my heart good to see young women standing up for themselves like this!"

"Another thing I wish I had done was make a long to-do list. When people wanted to come 'help' or visit, I wish I had had them do a chore for me. It would have taken a lot of pressure off me and actually let me heal from a long labor and subsequent c-section," they said.

Maybe Grandma can pitch in and help after the birth?

"My mom has really struggled with my boundaries and she and I are actually pretty close. Despite that, I knew I wanted to establish firm boundaries with my son especially after he was born early. It was hard for her at first but I stayed firm and she is better about it now," they said.

If a woman decides she wants her family and friends there, it's her choice. If she would rather the moment be private, it's her choice.

Everyone, especially the mom, will be exhausted and really not in any state to take visitors right away.

No matter how much you want to be there, respecting boundaries is more important than your own personal wants and needs.