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Man Shares Bizarre Story Of How His 'Evil Genius' Cat Helped Get His Wife Pregnant

Caitlyn Clancey 22 Jul 2020

Alright, I know you're all super curious to find out just how exactly a cat was involved in a woman becoming pregnant, and I'm sure your twisted little minds have come up with some truly outrageous and possibly even illegal answers to that query yourself.

But I'm here to set the record straight and tell the truly bizarre story of one child's conception which yes, somehow involves the family cat.

A Reddit user recently shared news of his wife's pregnancy online using the eye-catching headline, "TIFU By letting the cat get my wife pregnant..."

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Appropriately shared in the subreddit r/tifu, the man begins his story by revealing he and his wife had their first child less than a year ago.

But, since it was such a difficult pregnancy (and considering the coronavirus pandemic that's going on), they decided they would wait at least two years before trying to conceive again. So they began using condoms as a preventative measure.

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It's important to note here that the man's cat is apparently an "evil genius" who has a habit of getting into everything.

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As he explained in the post,

"No door, drawer, or cabinet can stop him, and if he knows where something he wants is he WILL find it. It’s so bad that for weeks after adopting him I thought there was poltergeist in the house because each morning I’d wake up to find every single cabinet door in the kitchen wide open!"

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It's also important to note that this man happened to decide the best place to stash the condoms was in the same drawer he keeps all his Q-tips.

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And that pesky cat who likes to get into everything especially likes to get into that drawer to shred apart said Q-tips.

Perhaps most of you have already figured out where I'm going with this, but please keep it to yourself so as to not ruin the surprise for everyone else who is still confused as to how a cat got a human woman pregnant.

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One day, the man noticed his cat had managed to get into the drawer and had scattered its contents all over the floor.

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"I stumbled upon a horrific scene of chewed plastic straws, shredded cotton fluff and shiny gold condom wrappers scattered around the gaping drawer that once contained them," he recalled.

"I didn’t think anything of it at the time and just cleaned up the destroyed Q-tips and put the condoms that had spilled everywhere back into their box without a concern in the world."

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Later that night, some magic happened inside that bedroom and... well, lets just say that drawer was opened and something was taken out of it.

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Everything seemed perfectly normal for the next few weeks. That is, until the man's wife began feeling nauseous and noticed her breasts were tender to the touch — the same symptoms she'd experienced during their first pregnancy.

"She still had a half empty box of tests from the year before and decided to take one just to be sure," the man explained. "Followed by another one... and another one... all positive."

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So there was so denying that the wife was, indeed, with child. But that didn't explain how she'd managed to get pregnant in the first place when they were being so careful!

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It was around this time while the puzzled pair were wracking their brains that the man remembered the drawer and all of its contents.

Upon inspecting each one of the square foil packets, he quickly realized that he really should have done this that day he'd found them all over the ground, rather than just stuff them back inside the drawer without a second thought.

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As it turns out, the cat had not only torn up the Q-tips he found, but he'd also scratched and bit at the other shiny items he'd found that day, too.

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Each condom packet had claw marks, and some had even been straight-up punctured by the dastardly kitty's teeth, rendering them entirely ineffective.

But that's not something someone would be able to figure out themselves if, perhaps, they were grabbing for one in the dark.

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So there you have it, the story of one cat's reckless curiosity leading to a pawsitive pregnancy test.

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But perhaps the best part of this entire story is the final thought the man gave on his viral Reddit post:

"Can't wait to explain to my new son or daughter one day that they owe their existence to the family cat!"

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Many Reddit users commented that the child will at least have an interesting story to tell their friends someday.

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Some even offered up a few suggestions for baby names ("Kitty" seems to be the most popular), while others remarked that they're just glad the story of how a cat impregnated the man's wife turned out to be way different than they had thought it was going to be.

And in the end, the man made sure to let everyone know that while definitely unexpected, he and his wife are still grateful for the baby who will soon be joining their family:

"The timing is certainly off, but the baby is very much wanted. In an ideal world we would have waited at least another year for #2, but oh well, life happens."

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