I recently went through the process of coming to terms with the fact I will never be "thin" again. My body type just isn't built for it and once I finished puberty and lost the teenage metabolism, staying skinny just became a struggle.
For years, I tried to fight my way back, but even at my most successful I was still 20 pounds more than that high school weight.
I went through the break-up of a longterm relationship, switched jobs, was laid off for a while and then had to rebuild myself back to a financially stable place.
Between the stress and the financials and some new health hurdles, I gained back any weight I'd lost previously, plus extra. I weighed the most I ever had.
Did I really want to keep stressing myself out over a battle against my own body? Looking at my closet, which was overstuffed with clothes from every size I'd ever been, I began to clean it out.
I donated 11 giant garbage bags of clothes and that is what actually made me feel lighter for the first time.
That's my new goal. I don't care about fitting into jeans I wore ten or fifteen years ago anymore, but I'd like to fit in my favorite t-shirts from before my life crumbled and I needed to build it back up again.
So does that mean I won't diet anymore? Not entirely. I still want to lose those extra stress pounds and build healthier habits, but I'm happy with slow, steady progress.
I'm not going to deny myself the things I love. Ordering an entire large pizza for myself is a recipe for disaster, but if there's an office lunch for a special occasion? Sure, I'll happily eat that last slice.
