Diply

Quotes For Those Of Us Who Like Coffee More Than People

Updated September 8, 2021

If I know I'm going to have to deal with people, be near people, or even hear people, I make sure I start my morning with at least two cups of coffee. Maybe more, depending on how long I anticipate these interactions to last.

Yes, I hate to admit it, but I've become one of those annoying people who insists they can't function without having a good ol' cup of joe in the morning. I also can't handle people without some hot bean water coursing through my veins.

I'm terrible, but I've accepted this. If you're also the kind of person who prefers their coffee hot and their social interactions kept to a minimum, I think you're really going to enjoy these quotes.

That's it, that's my fear.

I know I'll probably be O.K. As for everyone else? Well, that worries me because if you take coffee out of the equation...I just can't guarantee their safety.

Call the cops.

Also, another worrying sign you should keep an eye out for is if I ever throw out my coffee before finishing it. That's a red flag, and you should definitely dial 9-1-1 ASAP.

Still counts.

Look, no one ever defined what exactly 8 cups of water a day looks like. In my head, that means 8 cups of water that have been heated up with some coffee grounds, poured into a comical mug, and mixed with just the right amount of cream.

Ah, perfection.

Let's make this an Olympic sport.

Not hard enough? Okay, let's tack on the fact that it's 6 AM, you're still half-asleep, the dog is barking at you, and you have twenty unread work emails.

Now go for gold.