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Why A Friends With Benefits Relationship Might Just Be The Best Arrangement

Sometimes, you meet someone, you date them, and you realize that they're great in bed. Other times, you meet someone, you befriend them, and you realize that they're also great in bed. The only catch is you'd probably never date them. That's what we've come to affectionately term 'friends with benefits,' and it turns out it could be the best romantic relationship of your life.

Over the years, the classic debate over whether friends with benefits can ever truly work has continued to rage on.

However, there are some very key qualities that people overlook in friends with benefits relationships that may actually make them the best possible arrangements.

Can we be close without falling in love?

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Possibly the biggest concern of FWB's is that someone will start to develop feelings and the arrangement will be ruined, thus these are typically relationships with an expiration date.

Yet, there are still people that not only manage to make these setups work, but are also truly happy with them.

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So, like, how does this even work?

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A relationship of this nature relies on good communication and boundaries. But it also rests on realizing that above all else, this person is your friend.

“FWBs care for each other with or without the sexual benefits,” Kev Hick, a dating coach and YouTuber, said to HuffPost. “They’re real friends who have added sex to their bond.

Honesty and transparency need to be paramount in these specific arrangements. It's okay to have intimacy, as long as the two people are on the same page when it comes to expectations.

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Getting the best of friendship and flirtation.

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Sometimes people view FWB relationships as being sexual before they become friendships or vice versa, it seems that an even combination of both can help.

Psychology Today explains that in most successful FWB arrangements, "the two partners have often been friends or lovers first, prior to achieving the position of being friends with benefits."

In many ways it makes sense, as friends often have the strongest bonds of all, and with sexual chemistry, these partnerships can feel extremely fulfilling.

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This kind of freedom could be a very positive thing.

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People that enjoy a FWB arrangement often appreciate the fact that there is no commitment and less tension when it comes to jealousy and restrictions.

For some, the expectations for monogamy are not only stifling but also unrealistic. Having someone that has a similar view can be refreshing and also feel very safe.

However, this has to be a very transparent relationship, or jealous feelings can develop and fester, ultimately ruining the arrangement.

Clinical psychologist, Seth Myers explained on Psychology Today that, "If you find yourself getting jealous, be honest and tell your FWB partner, and the two of you can talk about whether the FWB relationship is truly working for both of you."

The second one party stops feeling free, it could be a sign that it's time to focus on the friendship without the benefits.

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Haters are gonna hate.

Let's face it, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding FWB relationships, especially when they're out there for the world to see. Serial monogamy has been so mainstream, that everything else can sometimes seem to be in poor taste.

Some people feel that it's very important to keep their FWBs a secret, or at least not tell anyone about the benefits part.

After all, if it's not serious, who needs to know? However, for some, secrecy is a deal breaker. Many people don't want to feel ashamed or weird about their friendships or sexuality, so secrecy is a big issue.

It all comes back to honesty and communication once again, and MarieClaire.com even explains that it may be helpful for some FWB's to make a rule book to structure a system in which both people agree or compromise.

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There's sometimes a sense of lessened pressure that makes all the difference.

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These relationships, above all else, are meant to be mutually beneficial. Like various other setups, if someone is unhappy, it needs to be communicated.

However, with FWB's it can be especially important to make sure that the everyone is comfortable and knows how to respect each other's needs, or convey that they can't.

Romantic love doesn't always have to be a defining factor in caring for someone or sleeping with them, there are so many pathways to fostering healthy bonds with others, and it can be pretty fun.

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Sometimes both people catch feelings, and that's okay.

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Having an FWB can last as long as both parties are interested in the arrangement.

Sometimes they just fizzle out, other times someone develops unrequited feelings, and than every now an then, both people catch feelings.

Monogamous love isn't necessarily the end result of a positive FWB relationship, but can be one. It truly depends on how each person feels and if their desire to be together looks the same.

After all, some people do catch feelings with their FWB but still want the relationship to stay the same, there are so many possibilities for how these relationships, like others, can transform.

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Above all, respect yourself.

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Remember, no matter what kind of relationship you decide to be in, make sure you continue to prioritize the one you have with yourself.

Healthy relationships are almost impossible to achieve when someone involved doesn't love or even truly know themselves.

Those who are overwhelmed by insecurities are often more vulnerable to being unable in their relationships. It's important to not only know your own boundaries but also make sure that your partner honors them too.

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