Aunty Acid

AUNTY ACID'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING IDIOTS: HOLIDAY SPECIAL

Dear Reader,

Once upon a time I was having a good day, then idiots happened!!

It seems they’re everywhere these days, doesn’t it? I thought I’d built up some immunity to them over the years but obviously there’s a new strain going around. What a shame you can’t vaccinate stupidity, huh?!

If you think I sound a little tense today that's because I freakin’ am. I’ve just got off the phone with my mother-in-law who insists on us all being together this year for Thanksgiving. I find the worst type of idiot is the one you’re related to. If a lot of you are in the same boat as me, I’ve put together a little list of how we can all SURVIVE idiots over the coming holiday season.

1. Stuff the turkey with Prozac.

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The easiest way to a nice relaxed dinner. Also, this is a joke, please do not drug your families.

I REPEAT: This is a joke!!

2. Pretend you mysteriously lost your sense of hearing over night.

What shame.

3. Insist on talking politics.

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That’s one way to get everyone moody and QUIET real fast.

4. Pretend you're EXTRA busy in the kitchen, too busy to come out and catch up.

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5. Use your W’s… Wine, Whiskey, you get the drift.

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6. Always have food in your mouth. So you can’t talk, or respond.

There you go, there’s the best tips I’ve got to getting through the holidays with your family. If I’ve left any good survival tools out, let me know in the comments. Have a sane and happy holidays

Love, Aunty Acid xxx