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Amazon Sells Slush Puppie Machines So You Can Relive Your Childhood Brain-Freezes

Updated September 6, 2021

If you were a kid in the '90s or even early 2000s, you know exactly what I mean when I say Slush Puppies were everywhere. Anywhere junk food was sold, so were these delicious, icy beverages packed with artificial fruit flavor.

Seriously, you could get them at the movie theater, at bowling alleys, and if you were a kid like me who somehow ended up in a hockey arena every weekend to watch your brothers skate and shoot pucks, you know the concession stands always had those glorious ice-churning machines.

As adults, we don’t get to sit down and enjoy the same brain-freezes and shockingly blue-stained tongues that we used to.

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Slush Puppies really just aren’t a thing anymore. Maybe I'm just not going to the right places, but as far as I'm concerned, any chance of tossing back one of those icy-cool beverages has come and gone.

They came, they saw, and they definitely conquered, and now they’re out of our lives for good. Or are they?

Amazon is helping us live our best, most nostalgic lives and is selling authentic Slush Puppie machines.

Amazon

And because we’re adults now, we don’t have to beg our parents for money to go buy a drink because now we can just use our own money to buy an ENTIRE MACHINE.

It's your cash and it's your world, guys. No more having to listen to mom say these things are bad for your teeth. Now we know they're bad for our teeth and we're still on board!

Get ready to relive those glorious brain-freezes of yore because these machines are primed and ready to deliver you the same Slush Puppies you remember.

Amazon

Each set contains one machine, plus paper cups (monogrammed with the Slush Puppie logo, of course), some straws, and one set of each iconic Slush Puppie flavor syrup: red cherry and blue raspberry.

Excuse me while I dream of taking my favorite childhood treat and giving it a deliciously boozy makeover. Come on, you were thinking it too. Pour a bit of vodka in there and you've got yourself a party.

It doesn't seem like it'll take a highly trained Slushie expert to run this things either.

Amazon

According to the product description, the instructions are pretty straightforward: "Fill the Slush Puppie Machine up with ice and watch as it turns it into Slush. The Slush Puppie Slushie Machine is easy to use and you can enjoy your Slushies in two ways with two different ice shaving settings, course or fine.”

It also says each machine is capable of churning out up to 1.1 litres of Slushie goodness at a time.

Now for the bad news.

This machine looks like it’s a UK exclusive, and even other versions, like this one from Firebox, appear to also only be available for people in Europe. So unless you’re lucky enough to live in that area, you’ll just have to make do with those 7/11 Slushies and pretend they taste just as good.

(It’s okay, we both know they don’t.)

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