I don't know about all of you, but when I woke up this morning, I hopped right out of my rubber duckie pajamas and straight into my finest pair of sassy pants.
And let me tell you, these pants are definitely perfect for my mood today.
If you're also the kind of person who's feeling totally fed up with everyone else's nonsense, I think you're really going to enjoy the sassy sentiments expressed in these super sassy quotes!
I'm not condoning violence here.
But I am saying that if a chair were to happen to fall spontaneously from the sky and land on a particular person's face, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Might even brighten up my day a little.
You also sound even better when you're not in the same room as me. Or the same building. Or the same city.
You know what? I think I like you best when I don't have to be anywhere near you at all. Nothing personal, though.
Sometimes I can force a smile and bite my tongue and somehow survive at least a few minutes of painful small talk with you but sadly, tonight is not one of those days.
So do us both a favor and keep moving before I fill a whole pillow case full of of "nice batteries" and whack you with it.
Hate me all you want but don't even both wasting either of our time telling me your opinion. It's better for everyone involved if you just mosey on down the road and leave me the heck alone.
