The r/AskReddit subreddit can provide a fascinating glimpse into other people's minds.
One recent question — "What as a guy do you wish girls knew?" — picked up a lot of traction and generated a ton of discussion.
It's kind of like What Women Want, only it's the other way around, and re-tooled for the age of social media.
User u/zakvandyk points this out, and another user added, "When I was in middle school, a girl I had a crush on told me I had beautiful eyes. That was 22 years ago, and I STILL ride that high."
"It hurts after my mother or sister say things like 'you're a guy, you aren't good with your emotions' or 'you don't understand being emotional,'" wrote a commenter who does have emotions. "I do. I absolutely do. Saying things like [this] in such an arrogant, condescending tone only makes me want to show them less."
This response stresses that they don't play head games and like to be direct.
A woman added, "Anytime my boyfriend would say 'I don't mind,' and I'd keep asking 'Are you sure?', after awhile he legit said this exact thing to me."
This is a common strategy in the dating world, but sometimes, for some people, the chase just isn't worth the effort.
"It's 2021, I ain't gonna chase no one," wrote another user. "She says 'no,' I'm backing all the way up."
"Many of us want to be pursued also, to feel like we don't have to always motivate women into wanting us," he wrote. "Nobody should be the designated initiator 100 percent of the time."
"We have feelings too, and dumping on a man for being honest with feelings as not being manly is not only cruel but also highly ironic considering there's a constant yearning for men with emotion," the comment continued.
Remember, being oblivious can be part of the experience of being a guy.
"Reminds me of a comment I read on a relationships subreddit," another commenter added. "It said 'I once told my boyfriend I didn't like flowers and he never bought me flowers again.'"
Gender norms dictate that men are usually the ones to make, rather than receive, romantic gestures.
"I bought a stranger a drink at the bar once because it was karaoke night and he killed it," wrote one woman. "Still friends over a decade later."
"We genuinely don't really understand how we are supposed to feel," the comment continued. "I, personally, wasn't allowed to express emotions growing up and it turned into me not being able to understand my emotions."
"Some of us have a lot going on between the ears and we're trying to make sense of it," the comment continued.
In other words, sometimes guys just need to be allowed to be in their own heads.
Not every guy is into brutal honesty, but many are.
Another commenter brought up the no-win situation that arises when a guy is asked if his partner's friend is pretty.
To piggyback on the point above, another user adds this bit of nuance.
"Most dudes get [compliments] so infrequently that when it does happen, there is a part of them that wonders if it was genuine, or if they are just giving them a polite and/or pity compliment," they add.
Always remember that not everyone likes the same temperature for sleeping.
"My girlfriend was sleeping on me last weekend and my mind was screaming GET OFF ME WOMAN HOW ARE YOU UNDER A BLANKET IN THIS HEAT," read one reply.
Go on...
"Yeah, that works both ways," the reply said. "I'm not saying 'Good morning' because I want to bed you, I'm not holding the door for you because you'll reward me for doing so, etc. etc."
"It doesn't mean I'm mad you or ignoring you or don't want to spend time together," he went on. "Ya boy is just trying to chill."
"For no reason I can also be sad, just because I don't cry doesn't mean I'm not sad."
The comment adds a bonus thought: "We don't get hints! Just tell us what you want and things would be so much easier for everyone involved."
This is a common trope, but it isn't always the case.
"It might be that he does see them, but his self-esteem is so low his internal dialog talks him out of believing you are interested in him in a romantic context," the commenter explains.
"If you want to talk about the future of our relationship or something, that's great and we can do that if you start that conversation," the comment explained.
"I don't know what they'll do in the future, I don't know that much about their romantic life," wrote one dude. "They don't know anything about me. Sometimes guys spend time around each other and don't get too mixed up in the past or the future."
"...but I'm not allowed to say so because society forces me to hide it."
I think that comment sums things up nicely.
Readers, let us know what you wish your romantic partners or potential romantic partners knew about you in the comments section!
