We all have that voice we use with our dogs.
You know the one. It's overly pleasant, thickly coated in feigned positivity, and it's meant to lull our pups into a false sense of security when really, they're about to be forced to do something they really don't want to do:
"We're going to take a bath! Yes we are! We're going to get nice and soapy because we thought it would be a good idea to roll around in other dogs' poop today! But we're not going to jump out of the tub and get mommy's shirt all wet because that would really bum her out!"