35 People Who Know Something We Don't

Either this person's neighbor has an unusually long, skinny and crooked torso, or three kids got a trench coat and decided they wanted to do a little leaf blowing.

Nothing can match a parent's first picture with their newborn. Whether the baby spent nine months in the womb or twenty minutes in the oven, the experience is special.

This dispensary in Illinois had the bright idea of teaming up with a local Girl Scouts troupe. The dispensary sold their goods, the Girl Scouts sold theirs, and everyone went home happy.

If you're polite, you know that the courteous thing to do is return a greeting. Maybe the greeting comes from a non-sentient entity, but it would be rude not to acknowledge it.

Keanu Reeves brought his mom to the Oscars, to the delight of everyone everywhere. Why is it that he gets applauded for this, but my friends call me weird when I ask if I can invite my mom to our hangouts?

It looks like Harold and his teacher have been over this a few times already. My curiosity is piqued. Without even seeing a single issue of Dog Comix, I'm already prepared to buy the whole collection.

This is kind of like a swim-up bar you'd see at a resort, except it trades chlorinated swimming pool water with mysterious brown water, and watered-down resort drinks for fast food chicken nuggets.

This absolute unit of a dude decided to dress as Eleven from Stranger Things. Honestly, he does a good job. All it takes is the right wardrobe and a box of Eggos.

I like wearing baseball hats, but have often wondered how I could better communicate my love of hats, besides wearing hats in the first place. I think I've found my solution.

Anyone who can appreciate a luscious, juicy watermelon probably knows how this kid is feeling right about now. Summer can't come fast enough.

I can support this steering wheel, as steering wheels only came about in the first place because of ship's wheels. I can't account for their gearshift solution, though.

Minecraft has an addictive quality to it, and its specs are low-end enough that practically any computer can play it. It stands to reason that it should be installed on every computer in the entire world.

Whoever's in charge of the highway signs in Utah got it right with this vaguely depressing Valentine's message. I mean, it's not wrong. Seat belts are good...but the support they provide isn't the emotional kind.

I need to get ahold of this makeup artist. If they're able to make a potato look pretty, there's an outside chance that they could make me look presentable.

Recreating old photos is never a bad idea. It gives everyone a chance to chuckle at how much things have changed while grimly reflecting on the fleeting nature of our existence.

I don't blame this little girl at all. For all she knows, she's just gained a sibling — one with weird plush skin and animatronic workings that makes noises and blinks.

This little guy went to see an Orlando Pride soccer game when he spotted Carson Pickett (or maybe she spotted him), a player for the Pride who has the same congenital condition.

Yes, this woman a) recognized a phone jack in the wall and, b) carries a landline phone around with her in case this situation should arise. It's not free real estate, but it is a free phone call.

I've seen that look in a cat's eyes before. He is on the attack and that poor, peaceful, sleeping cat is in for a rude awakening.

Clearly this barista didn't understand...his name is Mack.

According to this user, a restaurant worker drew this on their to-go box, but they never said what it was they ordered. Most thought it was a label for what was inside, but look at that muffin... He looks pretty angry... I think this is a warning to a great beast within that Styrofoam.

He looks, like, mildly annoyed that you came to bother him during his designated relaxing time. Everyone needs a breather, dogs included.

I was never a strong believer in keeping the foil somewhat on. I suppose I didn't care one way or another, but knowing this I'm glad my life has a little more direction.

This looks like a problem for some duct tape and hope. Lots and lots of hope.

This user's story was, "Accidentally bumped my watch right before jokingly calling my co-workers F-ing Plague Vectors. Siri heard it a little different."

This is so suspicious to me. Why not just say no, Siri? Do you have a plague doctor past?

Don't worry, I already know to taste all my bread before I buy it. I'm not stupid.

Sure, this may not be great, but I could still tell exactly who they were going for before I saw the reference pic, so it's successful in that sense! They gave him some wicked prominent cheekbones though.

This user said he only had the dog for two days at this point before he found it on the roof. Seems he adopted a monkey instead of a puppy.

He looks so...inconvenienced? Like, "Oh...dang. This sure is unfortunate. I am in a pickle."

For all intents and purposes, this works. If they're moving around, it's a small earthquake, and if the paper is on the floor, it's a bad one.

I did check out this playlist, which is seven hours long by the way, and it features bangers such as "September," "Funky Town," and "Another One Bites The Dust." I think this is the only playlist I'll listen to for the rest of my life now.

"Someone keeps leaving this cutout of Bigfoot around town. This time he was on a trail," said this user. How many Bigfoot "sightings" do you think this guy has caused?

The heyday of those hands-free, explosion-prone wheely things that are improperly called hover boards seems to be over. But let's not forget the days when you'd see them everywhere — even in washroom stalls.

I've seen a weird uptick in online content from people with raccoons for pets. Are they the hip new animal to have? Should I start looking into raccoon ownership?

This Iraqi protester looks like a Disney princess, summoning her friends from nature. She clearly wears two hats: By night, she's protesting inequality, but by day, she's a bird boss.