15 Parenting Tweets That I Bet We Can All Relate To

Never, ever tell your kids what you're planning to do for the day. If you do, they will whine, complain, and most likely they will ruin your plans completely. Not to mention, they will make you late—always.

There's nothing like getting a few minutes of clarity and peace away from your children for 10-15 minutes while you're "secretly looking for something." Who doesn't want to sit in their car and listen to some music for a while, away from it all?

New parents always think their kids need to be entertained 99.9% of the time. However, most kids under the age of 2 don't really remember much about anything. So, you might as well bask in it now. before they remember everything you fail at.

The only way to get your house to be clean is to really never, ever let your family back into the house. It's pretty much like this: your kids will make a hot mess of everything and your spouse won't ever clean it up.

First of all, he knew that his mom wouldn't look in the book. Second of all, he has been stashing away enough money to buy himself a sick LEGO set. Way to go, little guy. You're ahead of the game.

The real winning in parenting is when you take the "wrong thing" and turn it into something you've always been trying to make your kids do for years. Eating leaves? Give them magic leaves and it's really just a huge salad.

When kids are mad, it's pretty funny. They lash out in the craziest ways sometimes. Like, this one girl who apparently decided to cut her family members out of her family portraits. It's petty and savage and we love it.

They say that the first kid is the hardest because you don't know anything. But, it turns out that you actually don't know anything with your second kid, because nothing you did before will ever work.

Having kids seems all well and fun on paper but they truly make you exhausted, sick, and defeated. Don't Google your symptoms, you'll think you have 100 diseases and illnesses, but in reality, you're just a mom and dad.

We all want to get away from the stresses of school and early mornings from our youth, but then we have kids and guess what? We end up full circle: back doing class work we don't understand and going to early morning soccer games.

Is it just me or do all parents hoard all of their medicine in their cabinet forever? I think my mom still has the same Hydrogen Peroxide that she had when I was a kid and scraped both my knees on my bike.

A compliment from your kid can go a long way. But, your kids don't have a nice way of actually complimenting you at all. They'll like your dinner, and tell you it wasn't "as bad as the last few dinners you've made." Backhanded compliments are their signature.

Why is it that little kids think that they are the most exhausted and tired people in the entire world simply by coloring and having snack time all day? I want to color and have snack time all day.

We all need a good group of parenting friends that will hit up the bar with us after we put the kids to bed and leave them alone with their dads. I want a circle of wine-drinking, kid-shaming moms to hang with all the time.

It happens to all of us—we all have those moments where we are on the road or out and unprepared for being a "parent." Some days we have the diaper bag with 900 things, some days we have a McDonald's drive-through bag.